she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
