Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
