I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
