hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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