I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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