i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
