You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
