Girls should come with a carfax report
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I think my moral compass just broke
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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