We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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