So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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