im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
