this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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