I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
