just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
