what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
