That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I touched a dick in church today
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
