they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
