I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
