I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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