it was like eating out sand paper
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I believe in your delicious
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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