would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
