Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
