i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
