have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
