So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
