And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
worst night to have a conscience
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
