She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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