college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
