who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
