32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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