Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
