No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
