It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just invented taco cereal.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
