Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
