Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
