I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
