i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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