We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
