Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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