GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
