I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
