Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
