I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
