Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Everything about him screamed your future.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
