Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
