And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
