Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
