so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
