I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
