Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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