Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
if i can run in heels then i can drive
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
