wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
