Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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